Saturday, February 9, 2008

Crunchyroll - how to get your Asian fix

So like any good druggie, I am constantly in search of a reliable source. And like any drug the good stuff is rarely legal. When it is it probably shouldn't be. I jones after all things Asian.

I confess. I have an addiction.

Today while doing my usual search on IMDB (new horror movie coming out this summer didn't I see that in Korean or Japanese a few years back?) I'm sure ya'll have heard of J-horror due to the whole Ring franchise. Well Korea does horror better, more subtle. K-horror: next in the alphabet of horror to be remade for American audiences. The search I do is a wikipedia style following of links. From directors and producers, to writers, to actors; I search for movies that I might be interested in. It sucks doing this on IMDB because unless it was a HUGE hit then their info is limited and incomplete. Rarely do they have trailers or plot descriptions. Then when I find something promising I go to YouTube and search for a trailer. Then if I find a trailer and it still sounds good I go to the Piratebay and search for a torrent.

Netflix would be good too I bet. I don't like their endless strings attached deal. I like to be able to watch a movie on my time under my own supervision.

Right so if I find a torrent with English subs then I download it. After one day to a week I get to watch my movie, depending on seeders. (I don't care about dubs, I need to read lips or text and foreign languages rule out lips. Plus the dialog blends into the music sooo much better when I don't have to filter out words. )

Bleh this sucks.

Today I found Crunchyroll.

They are awesome. It's basically like YouTube minus the personal crap. It streams live. I get to watch my movies, anime, whatever now! All subed (so far). It really makes the "Otaku" in me happy. And if you're looking for something then their wiki is great. It's Wikiroll Here it's like a database of everything on the main site. Pick from Anime, Drama, Music, ect. then pick your country of interest. The rest is alphabetical.

If you wanna see things Big, or in a higher quality you gotta donate. I think it's way worth it. I found several movies I've wanted to re-watch, and a whole slew of horror to get jumpy with.

Since the shut down of so many anime torrent sites and then (same week as Oinks pink palace r.i.p.), this is the best thing since shrimp chips and mochi.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Nude but not Erotic

I model on occasion, usually nude. I like to think that it's artistic and tasteful. I certainly consider the photographers I work with to be artists.
I know that nudity equals boobs and that almost all of the photographers I've worked with are male. I know that I'm attractive, and that me being naked is usually a good thing. The boy and I joke that I make the world a happier place when I do this. I know that by posting my photos on the internet I may receive extra attention from sources I'd rather not know about.

So, all that said, why do I "model"? On my MM profile I say that, "I am interested in art, especially photography, as a process." It is fun, most of the time. I do like to get out there and try new things, have adventures, and meet new people. I'm finding that it is challenging too.

I'm learning about myself. I'm learning about my limits, my boundaries, and my discomforts. I'm learning what I like; how I like to be seen and what I want to show of myself. I'm finding that these are not always things that you can just know. I can make a list of things that "I'll never do" (like porn) but what about those in between bits (like erotic nudes or fetishes)? While I'm confident in my ability to say No and recognize situations that could become dangerous, safety and comfort are two (almost) totally different things. I've always believed that we don't truly know our personal boundaries until they have been crossed. Time after time I have found this to be true, not just for myself but from other models, even photographers. It's a very personal experience to find what you are comfortable with and capable of. I think it's called growing up.

Anyways, I like being nude i don't think that will ever get old even as I do. This goes way beyond photography and modeling. These just provide opportunity. For me it's not about seeing how these people see me. I haven't really cared about that in a long time. Its about the creating, the being a part of the photos. My favorite shoots are the more experimental ones. Where myself and the photographer are trying something "new." These tend to be technically challenging, rarely produce many "good" images, and involve me getting cold, wet, or both. It's a lot of fun! Fun with lights, LEDs, EL wire, dry ice, paints, liquid latex, water, underwater, jam, feathers, fabric, fans, new cameras, old camera, film experiments: I love it! Not all aspects of a shoot are always planned out, but I usually get a pretty good idea of what to expect and what I'll be asked to do.

I'm not big on me and sexy. I mean I understand that I can look sexy, in and out of photos. But it's not something I work on. Sexy requires a certain desire to seduce. I'm not seductive, attractive maybe, but not actively trying to seduce. This is compounded by a thing with my eyes where they don't work quite right. I can not (believe me I've tried) stare down the camera, or the guy behind the camera. Doesn't even work for the guy in my bed. Also, I don't find modeling to be a turn on in any way. Just, no. So when I am asked to "do something erotic" during a shoot, it doesn't exactly go over very well.

Because I am most eager to pose nude "erotic" comes up a lot. I am most comfortable in front of a camera nude. I am most uncomfortable in front of a camera immediately after being asked to strike an erotic pose. I have actually gotten angry with a photographer who would not move on with the shoot after I made it quite plain to him, (in my mind) that he was not going to get erotic out of me. I do not equate nude with erotic and I dislike that term being thrown at me in the middle of a shoot.

If afterwards the photographer or anyone else looking at/over the photos comments on a particular image or set being "erotic" that is fine. The difference is this is a reaction to the images, not something I was actively seeking to elicit at the time of the photo being taken. I am comfortable with honesty and if I can't be totally honest with myself and everyone involved, I lose focus and then interest in a shoot. I may even not decide not to shoot with that photographer again depending on the context and and my level of discomfort at being asked for "erotic."

I realize many people photographers and even models will go, " what? that makes no sense woman! Do you realize how many doors you have just slammed? Or how little sense you make?"
Yeah I kinda do. I'm not saying I won't do erotic images, I have and will continue to in the future I'm sure. It's just that I am not comfortable with the goal of eroticism in a photo shoot. I do not equate being nude with being erotic.

Monday, February 4, 2008

First Post

Ok let's see how this goes. I'm starting a blog to go along with a website that I have in the works. This site, being a project/experiment will take a while. In the mean time, I think I can accomplish most everything a personal website used to be for in blog format.

So what am I going to do here?

Mostly rant and rave.
I'll use this space as a place to avoid forum postings and to save my fiance's ears. (He's kinda sick of hearing about the stupid people and says that it's depressing when I read the news aloud.)
When I find something cool I'll post it here (for posterity.)

I've also noticed that I like reading peoples blog's and sometimes I want to respond to their posts with a full blown rant myself.

Sometimes I'll post photos. Me. Naked. Fuzzy. Cute. Rarely with more than two of those as descriptives.

I don't really know what I'll do, so don't get your expectations all expected.